Thanksgiving, in fact, all holidays have been so hard for our family since my mom passed away. Each year we have tried to carry on as she would have liked for us to - I want her to be proud of her two girls. She wanted her funeral to be a celebration of her life and we have tried to honor her by being the women she raised us to be throughout the last six years. I will not say that it has been easy. It is hard to lose the woman who taught you pretty much everything!! Throughout the year I am so busy with my Jon and Seth and a full time job that is easier to cope with the vast hole in our family. On holidays though, we miss her terribly! Nonetheless, on Thanksgiving morning, Anita and I were up early cooking, cooking, cooking! We also managed to watch the Macy's parade because my mom loved to have it on as she cooked! I noticed, though, that my dad was very quiet - he usually is a man of few words, but he was even quieter than normal. I asked him if he was okay and he said "It's just today. It was one of her favorite days of the year." I agreed and told him that we were so blessed to have had her in our lives! He then called my sister and me into the den where he pointed to a picture of my mom and said, "That is what I have been sitting here looking at all morning. She was a beautiful lady". Friends, it broke my heart! But then, a few minutes later as I walked through the den, my sweet daddy said "I feel better now, since I called you girls in here." So now, as we head into the busy Christmas season, instead of dwelling on fact that my mom is no longer with us, I want to stop and look on the bright side! I know that I will miss my mom, but I also believe that nothing happens without God's approval. I know this is true. Last night I heard a Christian author and speaker talk about a minister and his wife who learned that the wife had an aggressive form of cancer while she was expecting their second child. They made the decision not to terminate the pregnancy and begin treatment even though it meant putting the wife in grave danger. The speaker, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, spoke of the peace and acceptance the couple felt in this time in their lives. This sweet couple accepted God's will even though they did not understand why they were going through this situation. I know that my mom felt the same way. She seemed to handle her illness much better than the rest of us -with dignity and grace.
So for today, I will simply be happy that God allowed my mother to be just that, my mother. I was so blessed. As I decorate the tree and the house and attempt to make some of her special dishes, I will remember her wonderful legacy! I will remember how people raved over her homemade fudge, proclaiming it the best ever! I will think about the feast of delectable goodies she would make for Christmas Eve! I will remember how she made spiced apple cider that was such a yummy treat, and how she and Daddy loved eggnog even though they never convinced Anita and me to try it! I will remember how she adored her grandchildren and how Anita said that Santa couldn't compete with Granny and Papa! I will remember how Christmas was her favorite time of year. She always had a list going.... presents, menus, you name it - she was making a list and checking it twice! She made Christmas special! I will continue to honor her memory by making Christmas special for Seth and Jon and by carrying on our Christmas traditions with Papa and Nini and the rest of our family.
I love you, Mom! Thanks for the memories!!
